This was the first thing I really "saw" this morning. It is beautiful and smells divine. The most precious friend, who is equally divine and beautiful, gave it to me recently. It got me thinking about blooming. If you look at the bottom of the bulb, it is not very attractive at all, it is hard and dark and brown and roots sticking out everywhere. It transforms from an ugly hard brown ball into this beautiful flower and just delightful aroma.
To me, there is a real parallel with this flower and going through cancer. During cancer, you are (most likely) at about the most unappealing you can be, to yourself especially. You may have lost body parts, you may have many new scars, you may be completely altered to how you used to look and feel. Your insides hurt too, physically and emotionally. You are usually completely exhausted.
Most people respond with sympathy, those sad eyes. While the cancer patient appreciates this, some don't want the sympathy because they are fighters. It's a hard battle for everyone involved.
With my experience and coaching, I hear over and over again how the patient wishes their friends and family understood more what was going on in their mind and body. I wish so desperately that I could find a way to relay that in an understanding and practical manner. Hence my blog and website and coaching, if I can get just one person to understand then I've accomplished quite a lot. Anyway, this isn't really about me, got sidetracked!
Please LISTEN to your cancer patient. Don't listen to respond but LISTEN and be PATIENT because eventually that bulb will bloom just like this picture. You will be able to experience a "new" bloom with your cancer patient. They won't be exactly the same as before. They may come out stronger, distant, down right confusing at times, but they will be DIFFERENT.
Don't expect them to remain the same, let them grow into their new selves. Albeit it may be extremely frustrating at times but try to keep in mind the battle they have been through mentally and physically. There is no possible way they could be the same after it's all over. You could parallel it with a soldier, they aren't the same after battle and the general public doesn't expect them to be the same, neither should you expect the cancer patient to be the same.
The "blooming" is something that (in my opinion) needs to be completed to "move" on but only the cancer patient gets to determine the pace and the process. If you truly love your cancer patient, then give them the space and the time to fully bloom and recover and reevaluate their life.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to add to the comments below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or 954-707-7072.