This is a repost from my original blog August 3, 2009,"Just Donita". It was a blog about my Cancer journey. Looking back this seems to be my angry stage. I get sarcastic when I'm scared and uncertain, that's my go to emotion. There are so many different kinds of "stages" associated with Cancer. There are the actual stages of the Cancer mass itself, emotional stages, physical stages, educational stages, and so on. You could also think of them as battles. Every battle the wins the war. Cancer is a full on war for life.
Oh, I have heard that 6000 time, "just stay positive" and what, the cancer will disappear? My life will be charmed and golden? I won't have to do chemo??!! No, what it basically means is: "you stay positive so I don't have to deal with your mood swings, physical changes, or deal with the fact that you have a life threatening disease". If you "stay positive" then we can jointly ignore this together". I understand some of you may be offended, and I'm a little sorry for that, but not much since I'm the one with the triple negative breast cancer. In my defense, I have stayed as positive as possible. I tell everyone with a smile and a joke; and even joke about being bald with my kids and husband, so I am staying positive the best I can. I haven't gone to all the deep dark places I could mentally, I have just dealt with the immediate future of having surgery and radiation and chemo. Staying positive is quite the challenge with that menu. But the love, prayers, posts, cards and emails are helping. I love my friends and family, I really do and I know I will need them to do this.